Eat When Hungry: Journey into Food and Fires
Learning to Avoid Garbage Fires In a Corrupt Food Environment
Dr. Lisle and I dig deeper into hunger and the complex processes that I went through to understand my hunger drive and to make lifestyle changes in myself. In doing so, I moved from fueling myself with the explosive garbage fires of junk foods to the slow-burning fire of satiation with a plant-based lifestyle. As always, Dr. Lisle brings powerful science and deep wisdom to our conversation.
Processes are important in self-discoveries, and there can be important variations to understand about our individual hunger drives. To that end, I focus heavily on sharing my own processes and my individual learning which may include different details from others.
My internal agitation around food comes from what and how much I eat. When I don’t eat right, I feel agitated and go on the prowl, which means looking for the corrupt junk foods that cause garbage fires in me — overeating and binge eating.
Eat When Hungry: Discovering My Golden Circle
Discovering My Trigger Foods, Part II
A couple years into my weight loss, all looked well from the outside. I had lost half my weight; I stabilized at a healthy weight; and I radiated improved wellness.
On paper, my numbers looked comfortable, controlled, and predictable. The patterns looked like successful maintenance.
I had even started to get a few comments about my success in maintaining my weight loss. These unsettled me. I felt like a fraud.
Inwardly, I was flailing on the razor’s edge, about to tumble off into a chasm all too eager to devour me back into the 97% failure rate.
I knew this space intimately. Looming failure always won. I clung to the sharp edge of success, barely making it day-by-day. I was missing something, but I did not know what.
Then, I came into a direct standoff with what I did not yet understand: Eat When Hungry.
Discovering My Trigger Foods, Part I
Someone asked me recently how I discovered my food triggers. This is an insightful question. I will answer it in two parts.
At the end of 2019, I knew enough about food addiction to name it in myself. I knew, too, that the processed foods of the standard American diet caused problems for me.
At the time, I thought my understanding of food addiction was the capstone of what I needed to lose weight. In some ways, that was true. In other ways, that was just the beginning.
I know this is true: food addiction plays out in my body in the simplest, most predictable ways and in the most complex, challenging ways in today’s food environment.
Discovering My Trigger Foods Was a Process
Satiation: Discovering a New Sensuality
Satiation. I love this word and have only recently started to understand its meaning around my hunger drive.
Satiation is the pinnacle of what it means to fulfill the hunger drive, to eat when hungry. Satiation is the linchpin of my long-term success.
Discovering satiation was a confusing, complex process. I had lost half my weight and had maintained that weight loss for more than a year.
Yet, I was flailing and careening all over a razor blade even though the numbers on the scale held steady.
I was desperately trying not to fall into the abysses where one of my shadow selves ruled — either through the excesses of food addiction and binge eating, or the deprivations of anorexic restriction.
I had no idea how to maintain my success.
Meet My Hunger Drive: A Fact of My Life, Not a Self-Made Stigma
Since I first shared my story a few weeks ago, I have received a lot of comments about the stigma around food addiction and disordered eating patterns.
This stigma runs deep, and I am learning how people of all sizes, shapes, and genetics feel that stigma in different ways.
Even though I have lost half my weight, I spent most of my life experiencing this stigma silently in an isolated state of obesity or morbid obesity.
I never envisioned breaking my silence to speak about my food addiction – especially as publicly as I am doing now. But, life is full of surprises, and here I am.
I am speaking out because my self-understanding has profoundly shifted.