Satiation: Discovering a New Sensuality
Satiation. I love this word and have only recently started to understand its meaning around my hunger drive.
Satiation is the pinnacle of what it means to fulfill the hunger drive, to eat when hungry. Satiation is the linchpin of my long-term success.
Discovering satiation was a confusing, complex process. I had lost half my weight and had maintained that weight loss for more than a year.
Yet, I was flailing and careening all over a razor blade even though the numbers on the scale held steady.
I was desperately trying not to fall into the abysses where one of my shadow selves ruled — either through the excesses of food addiction and binge eating, or the deprivations of anorexic restriction.
I had no idea how to maintain my success.
Meet My Hunger Drive: A Fact of My Life, Not a Self-Made Stigma
Since I first shared my story a few weeks ago, I have received a lot of comments about the stigma around food addiction and disordered eating patterns.
This stigma runs deep, and I am learning how people of all sizes, shapes, and genetics feel that stigma in different ways.
Even though I have lost half my weight, I spent most of my life experiencing this stigma silently in an isolated state of obesity or morbid obesity.
I never envisioned breaking my silence to speak about my food addiction – especially as publicly as I am doing now. But, life is full of surprises, and here I am.
I am speaking out because my self-understanding has profoundly shifted.